Anchored in our values
Reimagining Traditional Masculine Leadership
by Suraj Arshanapally
Photo: Unsplash
When I was young, a magnificent willow tree stood in my backyard. Imagine a towering giant with branches stretching out like the graceful arms of a ballet dancer. Its canopy, decorated with leaves that seemed to dance in the wind’s embrace, swayed with each gentle breeze. And at its core stood the trunk – massive and tough.
In the spring, the willow burst into life with vibrant green foliage, glistening in the sunlight. Summer brought relief from the scorching heat as the drooping branches offered cool refuge. As autumn cast its golden spell, the willow transformed into hues of amber, signaling that winter was around the corner. And when winter arrived, the willow stood bare and stark against the cold.
Through every season, the willow remained steady yet embodied adaptability during life’s ever-changing cycles. It weathered storms and chaos, standing firm in its essence. The willow tree in my backyard taught me the importance of resilience, embracing change, and remaining true to myself, no matter the circumstances. In a way, it taught me what it truly meant to lead as a man.
A New Type of Leadership
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As part of my work with The Multicultural Man, I interview men from culturally diverse backgrounds on their experiences with healthy masculinity. I started these conversations to shed light on forms of masculinity that prioritized not only the health and well-being of oneself, but also of the community. What emerged was a rich tapestry of expressions, each influenced by cultural and religious teachings. For some Christian men, the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) resonated deeply, illuminating their path toward embodying forgiveness and unconditional love as fathers. For certain Sikh men, the concept of Chardi Kala stood out as a guiding light. Translating to ‘eternal optimism,’ this principle offered them a framework for maintaining mental resilience amidst life’s challenges. Faith intricately shaped their evolving perceptions of masculinity.
As I navigate the realm of leadership, I’ve come to recognize the significant impact masculinity has on how we lead – be it people, organizations, or even nations. The traits we embody, deeply rooted in our understanding of masculinity, shape our approach to leadership.
For some, values like forgiveness and optimism serve as a guiding light. However, this approach is far from the norm. Many leaders seem to be disconnected from these foundational values, operating within a different realm altogether.
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The traditionally masculine leadership model, designed for combat and competition, appears formidable and resistant to change. Rooted in hierarchy and focused on conquest, sacrifice is glorified and ends are deemed to justify the means. While this leadership style is considered successful by some metrics, it also prompts us to question the adverse effects on society, spanning from workplace bullying and harassment to escalated tensions and armed conflict between nations.
Exemplary leadership is crucial in a world mired by global conflicts. People worldwide are grappling with heightened emotions and attempting to navigate a sea of challenges. Leaders who can both acknowledge the gravity of these global issues and hold space for individual emotions while charting a clear path ahead will thrive. But how does one achieve this style of leadership?
Balancing Masculine and Feminine Leadership
In the book, Shakti Leadership: Embracing Feminine and Masculine Power in Business, authors Nilima Bhat and Rajendra Sisodia delve into the intricacies of feminine and masculine leadership qualities, inspired by the concept of Shakti (feminine divine) from Hinduism.
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They highlight qualities such as adaptability, creativity, inclusion, openness, trust, and harmony as the essence of feminine leadership. These traits, when wielded with maturity, can infuse leadership with grace and empathy. However, Bhat and Sisodia caution against veering to extremes, where these qualities may manifest as overly sentimental, irrational, and manipulative.
They also note the qualities aligned with masculine leadership: logic, structure, stability, discipline, strength, and assertiveness. These attributes, when balanced with sensitivity and awareness, contribute to effective leadership. Left unchecked, they can devolve into arrogance, aggression, or being power-hungry, undermining their potential for positive impact.
When we examine the qualities of both feminine and masculine leadership styles, it’s crucial to understand that they transcend gender boundaries, offering a holistic framework for leadership development. Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. exemplify this balance, blending strength with compassion in their leadership.
To maintain balance in leadership, drawing inspiration from Taoism, particularly the concept of yin and yang, can be valuable. Yin and yang, much like feminine and masculine energies, harmonize in their complementary nature. As leaders, we must discern when to employ masculine leadership traits such as logic and structure to confront challenges directly. We must also understand when to embrace feminine leadership qualities such as trust and harmony to nurture meaningful connections, spark creativity, and foster a cohesive organizational culture.
Adapting our leadership style to integrate both energies enables those under our guidance to thrive. It’s not about prioritizing one over the other. Instead, it’s about harnessing the synergy to lead authentically and efficiently.
Using a Values-Aligned Approach
In my conversations with men about healthy masculinity, a recurring theme stands out: values. These values, originating from various cultural and religious traditions, serve as guiding principles for men, shaping their worldview and influencing their impact on their communities.
When we know and act on our values, everything falls into place. We feel centered, authentic, and in harmony with ourselves and others. People with a values-aligned approach to leadership are not pulled in different directions; they embody integrity and stand firmly in their values.
Growing up in the Hindu faith, I learned about the principle of ahimsa (non-violence), and it shaped my understanding of masculinity and leadership. When I lead, I naturally gravitate towards conflict resolution strategies rooted in ahimsa. Instead of opting for confrontational approaches, I prioritize open dialogue and communication. Maintaining a space where every person feels valued and supported is crucial to me – using blame or aggression when conflicts arise is out of sync with my values.
Photo: Unsplash
During one enlightening interview, a Jewish participant shared with me the impact that tikkun olam – ‘repairing the world’ – had on his leadership style. For him, tikkun olam underscores the obligation to engage in acts of social justice and compassion. As an educator, he incorporates conflict resolution techniques that focus on helping students identify and communicate their emotions, thus preventing the opportunity for aggressive behaviors or violence. He has adapted his leadership style to align with his value.
In another conversation, a Catholic participant revealed the significance of servant leadership in his life. Whether he is making decisions as a father or leading his organization, he prioritizes the impact each choice will have on others. Leading with a service-aligned approach decenters himself from decision-making processes and centers the well-being of those affected by his actions.
Knowing our values provides a stable foundation for leadership. Straying away from the core principles that shape our worldview can leave us feeling adrift, leading to negative energy and potential burnout. Instead, embracing a values-aligned leadership style inspires us to lead with compassion, integrity, and a clear purpose.
Embracing the Path Forward with Calm
In a world filled with division and conflict, reactive leadership seems tempting. While reacting has its merits, I’ve learned that proactive, interfaith leadership is the key during challenging times.
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Proactive, interfaith leadership revolves around harnessing the power of calm. Picture this: you encounter someone on the verge of losing their temper. Instead of mirroring their chaos, your composed demeanor gradually calms them. This ability to remain calm stems from your ability to balance masculine and feminine energies in your leadership style. It’s also deeply rooted in having a solid understanding of your values.
Conflicts will naturally emerge and test your reactions, but when you are anchored in your values, fear does not dictate your decisions as a leader. Being an adaptive leader means quieting the noise of the world and approaching challenges with unwavering clarity.
Remember the willow tree in my backyard. Amidst the chaotic seasons, it stands firmly rooted in the ground, exuding an aura of presence. Much like an adaptive leader, it embodies both masculine leadership qualities – structure and stability – and feminine leadership qualities – nurture and harmony. In turbulent times, it offers solace and wisdom, serving as a guiding light.
We will confront global challenges more effectively by reimagining traditionally masculine leadership in a healthier way and weaving together the qualities of masculine and feminine leadership into the ways we carry ourselves. It may not necessarily be an easy path forward, but if we can do this, I’m optimistic about the ability of interfaith leaders to address these challenging times with grace, placing, peace, collaboration, humanity, and well-being at the center.
Suraj Arshanapally wrote this article in his capacity. The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Department of Health and Human Services, or the United States government.
Header Photo: DeviantArt